I hereby resolve;

To never lie to my children again that “Santa will bring the tree” and then send them off to bed early Christmas Eve, drag in the tree from behind the neighbor’s garage, wrestle it into the stand, painstakingly clip on every light, throw on the tinsel and ornaments, fill the stockings and then, the presents, only to find the doll house from Grandma is in a very flat package and necessitates assembling (insert slot A into slot B, etc. etc.}.  My children now assert it was all worth it but I don’t know.

I hereby resolve

To have a three foot artificial tree, all lit and decorated, and kept in a plastic bag, only to be brought up from the basement every December.  Yes.

I hereby resolve

To eat nothing but pure butter, whole milk, real mayonnaise, creamy ice cream, no diet-anything and all the calories known to man. I refuse to deprive myself of anything that is meant to extend my life. 

Mission accomplished