June 30, 2026

Advice to the elderly

If you are over 85 (definition of “elderly” subject to change);

Don’t try to run, jump, leap or hop. Forget climbing trees.

You can’t use tools that require the use of two hands while standing up. Chain saw. Rake. Shovel.

Don’t get up quickly out of your chair and expect to walk steadily and rapidly across the room.

Don’t get up out of your chair.

Stairs.

Exceptions; retired physical education teachers, marathon runners, Jane Fonda.